I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
