My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
