can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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