she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
