Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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