I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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