It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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