I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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