Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize