it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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