I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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