i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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