It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize