In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
