my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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