And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
