I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
