my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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