I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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