one two three fourrrrnication!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
