my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
