I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
