There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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