this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
