Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize