Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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