don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
