Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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