i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
