we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
