I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize