i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
