hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
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