just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
