Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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