Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
