Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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