I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
