he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
