fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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