Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
