Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
