i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
