He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
