How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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