Define "chronic" masturbator.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just gargled with NyQuil
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
