I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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