What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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