Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
