I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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