the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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