but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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