Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
