i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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