need another drink. this is the easiest way
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Who died my cat blue again?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
