I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
