it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
