We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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