i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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