I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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